


When the Heart Skips a Beat

by Gloredhel



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Drama, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 15:12:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gloredhel/pseuds/Gloredhel
Summary: Simon's life isn't perfect, even though having a boyfriend that loves you (and you love back) it's close enough. But it's when you think things can only get better, that you can lose everything in a second and Simon's heart isn't ready for that.





	When the Heart Skips a Beat

Simon didn't want to think that maybe his life was getting better, lately. Or easier. He didn't want to think about it, because it almost felt too good to be true, like a dream he didn't want to wake up from. Not that everything was perfect, because it wasn't. He had come to terms with his sexuality, but he still wasn't completely out of the closet, not with the whole world; the troupe (Mr. Mazzu and Tracey included) knew and they were the best supporting people he could have wished for. His parents of course knew too, but the “news” hadn't left their home, as if it was some sort of secret (or worse, a shame). Simon, anyway, was already tired of the silent fight with his father and he didn't have the strength to face his whole family, yet. His mother and Emma were by his side, though; they knew that Simon had to deal with all of this at his own pace and he had decided to take one step at a time. Time would come to face the whole world, there was no need to rush it.

That Friday night another step had been taken: a dinner with Jeremy and Simon's mother – Patricia – and sister, Emma. He and Jeremy had been together for a couple of months and he couldn't even tell how this made him happy. But it was so obvious, all people had to do was to look at him! One day Patricia had come to him and proposed him to have a dinner all four of them, “so I can finally know better the person who makes you smile all day. I won't embarrass you in front of him, I promise”. Simon wasn't expecting this at all, but looking at his mother in the eyes, he knew it was the right moment to do it. His father was out of town, Patricia had chosen a newly opened diner and, despite Simon's worry, everything had gone well. It had been a very funny night, Jeremy always knew how to make everyone laugh.

The dinner was now over and Simon, Patricia and Emma had been home for half an hour. Simon was getting ready for bed, but the amazing night he had spent with Jeremy still made him exhilarated and optimistic, too. Things could only get better, from then on.

Simon's phone rang: he knew it was Jeremy, because they had this “tradition” of calling each other when they arrived home, after spending time together. Actually, that night the phone call was later than usual, Simon thought while reaching for his phone; the diner wasn't that far from Jeremy's home, so it was weird for him to wait so much time before calling, especially when he used to call Simon still on the doorstep.

“At last, Jer, I was starting to think you had ran away with another guy,” Simon joked. Jeremy always told him that he was adorable when he acted like the 'jealous boyfriend'.

“Hello Simon. I'm sorry if I call you this late, I'm Jeremy's mom, Lisa.”

Simon was quite surprised (and a little embarrassed for what he had just said). He had met Lisa several times before, but she had never called him on the phone. Even when her son was sick and had to miss school, Simon had always talked with Jeremy directly. So now he didn't know exactly what to say: “Oh, hello, Lisa. It's fine, I thought it was Jeremy, I told him to call me when he got home”.

“That's why I'm calling you, Simon. He...” Lisa's voice was weird, it seemed like she had cried until few minutes before. “Jeremy...he...he had an accident.”

Simon's heart skipped a beat. Suddenly he was dizzy, he could hardly stand and it was as if someone had just pulled the floor from his feet to the point that he had to sit on his bed. He could barely breathe and now his heart was beating so fast it almost hurt.

“Wh..what? No...no...How...he...”

His voice was getting watery and all the worst images started flashing before his eyes; his emotions were running high and he couldn't even understand what Lisa was saying, his mind was too shocked to focus on her words.

“Where is he?” Simon managed to say, eventually. Lisa told him the name of the hospital and he noted it.

“I'm on my way.”

 

* * *

 

“Can you go faster, mom?”

“Honey, I'm already going faster than I should. Don't worry, we're almost there.”

Simon and Patricia were driving towards the hospital. He still couldn't explain how he had managed to stand up and tell his mother what had happened. She had hugged him and he had started crying, then she had said: “Just give me a minute, I'll go ask to Mrs. Perkins to come here and stay with Emma, then we go to the hospital, okay? Simon, look at me. He's going to be fine, okay?”. Mrs. Perkins was their neighbor and sometimes she'd take care of Emma when the Saunders were busy. She arrived few minutes later and they were free to go.

Simon was shattered. Sore eyes, he stared at the road and prayed for Jeremy to be fine. It was his only thought – well, not the very only one.

“It's my fault.”

“What?”

“The accident. If I didn't invite him to dinner, now he'd be safe”

“Simon, how can it be your fault? You have nothing to do with this, these things happen and –”

“He'd be safe!” Simon shouted. He was on the verge of crying again and now the sense of guilt was getting him all chocked up.

“Simon, listen to me: none of this is your fault. How could you know what was going to happen? Nobody could, so please don't blame yourself”.

Simon didn't reply. Rationally he knew his mother was right, but the anxiety and the heartache weren't really helping him to think straight. That and also the dinner of few hours before, which was playing on a loop in his mind.

 

 

“ _I can't believe your mom made up an excuse to go back inside and leave us alone.”_

_Simon and Jeremy were standing next to Jeremy's car, in the parking lot of the diner. The dinner was over, it was time for goodbyes and they all had got to their cars, when Patricia had said she had forgotten something inside and asked Emma to go with her. The two boys were now waiting for them to come back._

“ _C'mon, Jer, don't be ridiculous...and leaving us alone to do what?”_

“ _This, for example.”_

_Jeremy leaned in and kissed Simon. A sweet kiss, Simon's favorite. Not that he didn't like more passionate ones too, but when Jeremy kissed him softly he was head over heels. Jeremy knew that and liked to make him go crazy – and Simon didn't mind._

“ _Oh, so you're telling me she gave us some privacy for a goodnight kiss?” Simon asked, amused, looking at his boyfriend in the eyes; he'd always get lost in them and it was the most beautiful feeling in the world._

“ _Would you rather if I'd waved at you? From inside the car, maybe?”_

“ _Absolutely not.”_

_They both laughed and kissed quickly once more, then they noticed Patricia and Emma were walking towards them. Simon still had Jeremy's hands in his, but neither of them felt embarrassed. Simon thought it was such a good feeling._

“ _Thank you, Mrs. Saunders, for the wonderful night. It was a pleasure to meet you and Emma”_

“ _Oh, call me Patricia. Thank you too, Jeremy, we had a great time, right Emma?”_

“ _Yes. You're very nice and funny,” Emma replied. She was usually a shy girl, but Jeremy had won her over. No surprise, Simon thought._

“ _Thank you, Emma, you're very nice too. Oh, and don't worry, I won't forget to give Simon the book I talked you about, then you have to tell me if you liked it”_

_Emma blushed and replied: “I will. Thank you, Jeremy”._

“ _Goodnight, then!”_

“ _Goodnight, Jeremy!” Simon, Patricia and Emma said. They were almost at their car when Simon turned back and shouted:_

“ _Call me when you get home!”_

“ _No worries!”._

_Jeremy left the parking lot first; Simon looked at his car leaving, thinking that he was so lucky to have him in his life. It had been a difficult process for him, but now he knew he would have never gone back._

 

 

The kisses, the laughs, the talking. Everything was even more vivid in Simon's mind now, together with an awful thought.

“Mom, what if he...if...he doesn't...make it...I…he...”. His voice was trembling.

“Don't. Honey, don't even think about it. Okay? He's going to be fine, I'm sure of that. But what did Lisa tell you, exactly, on the phone?”.

Simon tried to remember the talk, but the truth was that he hadn’t listened. After she had told him the news, he was too shocked to keep paying attention; he realized he didn't really know how bad the situation was. Maybe it was nothing, just a huge fright, and this thought gave him a glimpse of hope. He was about to reply to his mother, when they finally got to the hospital. It was almost 11 PM.

The car was still moving and Simon had already hopped off, running towards the reception. His mother arrived a couple of minutes later and together they went looking for Jeremy's room; Simon's heart was beating out of his chest and he was already panicking because he couldn't find the room, when he finally saw Lisa. She was sitting in the corridor and looked worried, but not in grief, so that was surely a good sign.

“How is he?” Simon asked her and there was so much pain and worry in his voice, as if his own life depended on the answer. “He's sleeping, now. He has a mild concussion, two cracked ribs and some bruises.”

Simon finally breathed again. Jeremy was alive, hurt but alive! It felt like waking up from a nightmare. Lisa continued: “He's been so lucky, he had the safety belt on, but the crash was quite bad...the EMTs said it was a miracle he ended up with so little damage, I really don't know what I'd have done if...”. She couldn't choke back a sob at the very idea of her son not making it. What mother could? Patricia felt the same pain of Lisa and hugged her tight, saying: “Thank God he's fine. But what happened?”

“He was going across the intersection between Orchard Street and Prospect Avenue, a truck didn't stop at the red light and hit his car, that crashed into a light pole. I almost fainted when they called me from the hospital...when I arrived he was awake and the first thing he told me was to call you, Simon. He didn't even say 'Hi mom', but 'Call Simon, mom. Please, tell him what happened'”.

Simon didn't miss a word of Lisa's report. So Jeremy could have really died that night and thinking about it felt like an iced hand had grabbed his heart. Simon thought that maybe his love had protected him, somehow. He was looking at Jeremy through the room's window: pale, with bruises covering part of his face, he seemed so small in that bed. So vulnerable. It was so hard to see him like that, for he had always been the strongest between the two of them. The bravest. Then Simon noticed Jeremy was awake.

“Jeremy is awake...I...can I...?”

“Sure, darling,” Lisa said, “he'll be happy to see you”.

Simon slowly opened the door and Jeremy immediately looked at him. “Hey,” Simon said, both happy and heartbroken at the same time.

“Hey,” Jeremy smiled too. “Come here, Si...I swear I'm not contagious.”

Simon couldn't help but laugh at Jeremy's attempt to cheer him up, like Simon was the one that just had an accident. He pulled up a chair and sit close to the bed, then took Jeremy's hand and suddenly all the emotions of that night won him over. The fear, the heartbreak, the pain. He started sobbing and it seemed he couldn't stop.

“I was scared to death, Jer, I...I was terrified you...you wouldn't...make it and I..I can't lose you, you know...I just can't, I...”

Seeing Simon like this was more painful than the accident's injuries for Jeremy. It was like his heart broke more and more at every sob. He squeezed Simon's hand a little harder.

“Si, look at me.”

Simon looked up Jeremy's hand and gazed at him. He wasn't sobbing anymore, but he kept sniffing and tried to wipe the tears that were still silently flowing down his cheeks.

“I was scared too, but you know what kept me going? You. I never stopped thinking of you. I...I love you, Simon. I'm so in love with you”

“I love you too.”

Simon smiled, finally. A real smile, because he now was sure that their love was real, they had each other and that's all they needed. He blew his nose, dried his eyes and said: “Just please, don't ever do that again, Jer. Try to stay away from accidents or things like that, okay?”

“I'll do my best, but I can't promise you anything.”

Simon gave him a 'are you for real?' kind of look and it was so funny that Jeremy couldn't help but laugh. Or rather he tried to, because his cracked ribs caused him stabbing pain so the only thing that came out of his mouth was a moan.

“What's wrong?” Simon asked him, worried.

“Nothing, it's just my ribs don't really want me to have fun, right now. I need more painkillers, I'll ask the doctor, later”. He paused to catch a breath, then: “Don't worry...I love you means you're never ever ever getting rid of me”

“Wow, now I really know you're fine.”

“Why?”

“Quoting Waitress? Really? Laying in a hospital bed, after having a car accident?”

“I would sing it, if I could”

“As if I didn't know that,” Simon said with a laugh.

They kept talking for a while, until the doctor came in and asked Simon to leave: the patient had to rest and they had already made an exception. Simon realized it was past midnight; he didn't want to go, but only family members were allowed to stay the night.

“I have to go now, Jer, but I'll be back tomorrow morning, okay?” he said, gently brushing Jeremy's hair.

“Okay. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Simon.”

“Goodnight.”

Simon bent down to kiss Jeremy on the forehead. He wanted to kiss all the bruises he had on his face to make them disappear, like his mother used to do with him when he was a little kid. Of course the bruises would never go away, but that sweet gesture would always make him feel better. And loved.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” said Jeremy with a smile.

Then Simon left the room. He asked Lisa if she knew when they were going to discharge Jeremy and she said they were going to keep him overnight for observation and if everything was fine, they would discharge him later that Saturday. Simon promised to come back in the morning, then he and his mother said goodbye to Lisa and left.

 

* * *

 

On Saturday morning Simon woke up at 7. He hadn’t slept much that night, but he couldn't stay in bed much longer, so he got dressed, went downstairs and found his mother had already made breakfast. Emma was still sleeping.

“I imagined you wanted to go to the hospital early...do you need a ride?”

“Uh, no thanks. I'll go off myself. Oh, I still have to tell Lilette and the others!”.

He finished his breakfast and then called Lilette; luckily her mother had found a way to stay in Stanton to work (her friend who had offered her a job had also some business in Stanton). She wasn't happy to be woken up at 7:30 AM on a Saturday, but when Simon told her about the accident she was immediately wide awake and offered to tell the whole troupe about it. Simon thanked her and left for the hospital.

When he got there Lisa told him that Jeremy had had a peaceful night and he would be discharged before noon. They had to wait another hour before being allowed to enter Jeremy's room, meanwhile the whole troupe arrived, Lou and Tracey included. Jeremy was still a little sore from the accident, but overall he felt better, especially because all of his friends were there, cheering him up and even singing for him. A couple of hours passed this way, then people started to leave, with the promise to visit Jeremy at his place. Everyone but Simon had left; there were just the two of them in the room, Jeremy took his hands and told him:

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For this, for everything. For being the best boyfriend I could have ever dreamed of...what would I do without you?” Jeremy said and Simon felt the emotion in his voice.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Simon replied with a smile. “Having each other...that's what people do when they're together, right? When they love each other. Just know that I'll always be there for you.” “Me too.”

They kissed, a real kiss on the lips, this time.

“Okay, now let's move, otherwise I'll become even more cheesy,” Simon said with a laugh. “You have to get dressed, unless you want to go home in your pajamas. I'll call your mom to help you,” then he headed out of the room, where Lisa was talking with the doctor about Jeremy's medications and other instructions for his recovery.

“Why don't _you_ help me, instead?” Jeremy said, flirting. He knew Simon wasn't so innocent as it seemed, but he still got embarrassed sometimes, if caught off guard. Jeremy found it adorable.

Simon turned back, his ears red. “What? No, I...uhm…I'm going to call your mom,” he said quickly and rushed out of the room, knowing that Jeremy was capable of taking his clothes off (or at least trying) right in front of him. Jeremy smiled, shaking his head, amused.

In few minutes they were ready to go. Lisa helped her son getting in the car and then headed home. Simon followed them with his car, in case they had things to do and needed some help. It was a beautiful morning, or maybe it was the love and happiness he felt in his heart that made it look like that, Simon thought. The last twenty-four hours had been a rollercoaster of emotions, he could have lost his boyfriend and this thought still made him cringe. Everything had gone well, eventually (and how grateful Simon was for that!). But that's what being with someone really means, Simon thought: sharing the good and the bad, ending up being stronger and closer than before- If he looked back, his whole life had been turned upside down since Jeremy had come into his life; it had been difficult because he had to rethink himself, losing the image he'd always had of his life, what he hoped it to be; but now Simon knew it was the best thing that could have ever happened to him and he couldn't help but thinking about what he had read on a book, once: 'Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic. But gaining your heart's desire? That's all you can hope for. This year I wished for love... to immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic, then give me that tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world'.

**Author's Note:**

> \- First of all, I have to thank my friend and beta reader [Cris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplebowties/pseuds/purplebowties) ❤️
> 
> \- Second: this is my first fanfiction in english (and my third altogether), I'm not really a writer, but I hope you'll like it!
> 
> \- Third: the quote at the end isn't from a book, but from episode 2x22 of One Tree Hill. I doubt that Simon watched it, when he was 3 years-old, but I liked it so I made it a book reference. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my work, I'd love to read comments from you!


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